Red Riding Hood

Was excited regarding the release of Catherine Hardwicke's Red Riding Hood due to its examination of werewolves. But there are not many positive things to say about her film unfortunately. Yes, there is a werewolf, and it does star Gary Oldman and Lukas Haas, but apart from these facts it's one of the most sterile, wooden, nauseating teen melodramas I've seen, even more nauseating than New Moon. There's a beautiful woman betrothed to a man she doesn't love, desperately seeking to elope with her subject of desire. Her mother points out the financial benefits of making a good marriage and the rewards that come with financial security. The moon is cloaked in blood, the only time when werewolf bites can create new werewolves. A crusader's lust for victory turns him into the very monster he hopes to slay. The elements of an entertaining werewolf film are present but the execution lacks distinction. It's painful to watch as the predictable lines are heartily coated with sentimental prestige and hardwired blithering. I detected two moments where it seemed as if the film wasn't taking itself seriously, where I thought perhaps irony was its motivating factor and that it had therefore achieved a certain degree of redemption. But these moments pass quickly and fade into the night like crumbs sprinkled from a saltine delicately sleuthing their way through a living room's reconstituted equanimity. One for the money, two for the show. At least little Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) follows her heart.